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bluerthanbluets) wrote2023-07-01 01:51 pm
bluerthanbluets) wrote2023-07-01 01:51 pm
Entry tags:
extended a/n: HAPPIEST MOMENT
I thought my longest work ever was going to be SPRING OF RADIANT SORROW, at a whopping 27,500 posted as a single chapter. I thought that was also the most hardworking fic I'll ever do in terms of research and prep... but it's fun to surprise myself sometimes.
HAPPIEST MOMENT ended up at 49,405 words. Four chapters, posted irregularly starting from February to June. I started this fic in October 2022 with this self-prompt for svtrarepair:
This round's theme was based around Specialized Videotape Technology - meaning any media Seventeen has released. My prompt was coming off an ep of Going Seventeen where they were, uh... making up ads? Playacting commercials? Trying to get sponsors? You know the one. The part that had Scoups going down on one knee in front of Dino with a fake ring like he's proposing to him.
The idea that I had back in October was simple. I only wanted to expand on that scene, what it meant for me: commitment, Scoups being down bad and being so good at it, and Dino being the center of it all; and I wanted to hone in on the universal carat (dinonara) dream - Dino's acting debut. So, all these, plus the shows I've seen (and didn't finish watching) about the Korean acting/idol industry (Sh**ting Stars, Imitation, Love to hate you) that really made me think Wait, I can write this one better.
Joining a fest
The last time I participated in a Seventeen ficfest (Eng) was... Oct 2021 for Eleventh Hour, a Chan-centric fest. I claimed my own prompt (lol) and wrote cat person, a Chan/Jeonghan fic. Since then, the only svt fests I signed up for was this Filipino ficfest I'm mod-ing (haha) and the svt bingo where I published two works.
So this was kind of a big deal for me. Joining this round.
This probably should be due for a separate post (alt title: youremynumberone rip and then redux), but ever since last year, I felt myself necessarily pulling back from the ficdom space - which is kinda funny, because that idea is obviously coming from a place of self-importance (as in, that there is a space being occupied by myself in the first place, hence its loss). But it's also like, whatever, girl. Now I'm really just, do what you fucking want or not.
So this fic and this fest, I'm thinking of it as my first reappearance (as poemnumbertwo) and like, just, newer and maybe a little bit better - at caring less about ficdom optics and being present. So it was just me. How exciting! Must've made me feel a little bit bolder. Because I wanted to try something I haven't done before...
Writing a chaptered fic
This spooked me a lot, because the concept of publishing a story that is unfinished, of which you only have a vague idea of how it's going to play out, and how long it's going to be, and how it's going to get to the end, is just incredibly nuts to me. Why do that? Who will be reading along with this when they don't even know if it's worth the ride? If it will ever even be finished? How will I manage how the chapters line up against each other in the long run? What if I want to change something I already published in the previous chapters and readers already read it? I can't do that. How can I do this without freaking myself out and also without selling myself short?
Turns out, it's quite doable. What a learning experience! Though I almost made this into five (I think briefly I even considered six) chapters, even thought about changing the title... I like to think I succeeded - in sticking to the prompt, in putting out congruent enough chapters in terms of progress and pacing, and in arriving at an ending that was satisfying.
Chapter break-down:
Chapter 1 - 8k - Feb 6
Chapter 2 - 12k - Feb 24
Chapter 3 - 12k - Apr 22
Chapter 4 - 18k - June 6
Looking at it now, that looks quite okay and fair, doesn't it! Haha I'm trying to be chill here, but I'm proud of that. I think the biggest challenge in writing a chaptered fic is really losing focus and steam, especially when you're getting feedback from readers in real time (as in while you're writing the next chapter), which can sway you... or just discourage you.
So how did it go about... I only started working on the next chapter's outline after finishing the previous one. Which probably wasn't the smartest idea, but I also really wanted to test my writing's integrity - as in whether I could commit to the details I thought were good and necessary writing the previous chapter. So it really was just a constant effort of extending and strengthening the extensions I was building so it rationally and emotionally leads into the next one.
I usually write based on the emotional mood of scenes, so this was what I was most conscious about and always building towards. It was also a very insightful exercise on trimming and writing neatly. I cut out a lot of scenes, scenes that were perhaps useful in terms of characterization or worldbuilding, but I thought I could do without if I could come up with a scene that brought out emotions that were already what those scenes stood for.
I'm grateful I had supportive readers who were patiently reading along as I posted. This helped a lot. And having a bunch of other stuff I wanted to work on at a particular time (i.e. scoupsday fic on August, so I knew I wanted to finish this at least by June) also drove me to work on this every time I could. And sprinting with friends! All the conversations and processing and the throwing of ideas together, ah how lucky to have had someone by my side as I wrote.
Characterization, especially: Seungcheol
As a couprang, it is my pride and joy to be told my Seungcheol voice is good. But I sat on this for a bit and came to the realization and conclusion that, I write him well not because I get him. I write Seungcheol's voice well whenever I do a Seungcheol character because I know his character in my story well. Which is different from knowing him. He is inscrutable, and I am just a fan.
But in this fic, I am his writer. So I do get him. I know him well! I know his character as an employee of OMEGA Entertainment, as a hardworking manager, as a devoted and loving friend, as a man newly being acquainted with the workings of his heart. I think it helps me personally when I approach a character like that - as in a character, and less like a real person I am an adoring fan of, if that makes sense? It's a good exercise at reflexivity and distance. As a fan, and as a writer.
Story arcs: stardom arc vs romance arc
Because in the summary I wrote when the first chapter was posted ended with: "Here is the making of a star, or also: the course of the heart in three acts." I needed to deliver on both aspects.
This must be the trickiest part writing this fic - balancing the progress of Chan's stardom with the progress of two people getting to know each other, trusting each other, and then working hard together to keep it going. The key here was the realization that both journeys are the same. For example, Chan's agreement to sign the contract is parallel with him opening up to Seungcheol about his life story, his desires and fears:
Lee Chan, once in real conversation, becomes an entirely new person. Someone who feels older, Seungcheol thinks, as he talks with unimpressed, subdued sort of pride. He tells Seungcheol about his grandma first. About how good she is as a parent, raising her children all on her own. As a cook, feeding everybody who would be willing to sit down and eat with her. As a grandmother, moving to Seoul with Chan because, did you know she happened to have been with him when he was first tapped to be a model?
This is it, an almost electric awareness fills Seungcheol.
I like this scene a lot. All of the details that compose this scene make up this sweet, intimate moment, a turning point where we see Chan finally opening up, after a harrowing day, after a series of constant effort from Seungcheol, and then give in and answer him yes - but because Seungcheol waits and doesn't prod or even take advantage of Chan's vulnerability, it doesn't feel like he's being pushed to say yes to Seungcheol; just that he's finally listened to the voice in his own head that's saying Seungcheol is a good person. He's finally honest.
And I guess that reveals a lot about me as a person, and how I think about love. I like to think this is how a good relationship starts: by being patient, and by being honest.
(Also really like how this scene is my rewrite of my prompt for the fic essentially: Seungcheol feels his mouth drop open ever so slowly. Sometimes, you want a thing more than you can admit you want the thing. Seungcheol is different. “Can you say that one more time?”
Chan rewards him with the laugh that Seungcheol only previously saw in videos. The closed eyes that crinkle beautifully. His head, tucked to the side of his shoulder. The real giggle he makes. Seungcheol wants to gush.
And then, the answer, again: “Okay. I do. Happy?”)
And so it begins. That this happens in the second chapter complicated my idea of keeping this to three chapters (when the first chapter was posted by the fest account, the fic on my page said 1/3), because I was thinking it will follow three acts. This was out the window when I realized their arc only started in the chapter two fully. And just threw out the window the rigid idea of one chapter, one act. I reasoned, I don't think love progresses that clearly anyway, haha.
The first three chapters were heavy on the laborious journey of signing a reluctant and untapped star, but the last chapter, I think, despite the number and weight of the scenes of getting Chan out there in the field, is intentionally heavy on revealing a lot of their progress of getting closer. And is also a bit faster in pacing, because I like to think, even in the previous two chapters, they were already there anyway. It all just needed to unfold this time: the teasing, the realization that Seungcheol will do anything and everything for Chan, the first stab of jealousy (won't let someone else get Chan's number, what a lewser), the first hug, the first night together... the second... the first almost-not-really kiss (He tucks Chan closer. Chan opens his eyes briefly, looking up at Seungcheol. His lips land warm and soft against the edge of Seungcheol’s jaw.), the first kiss (“Not like that, idiot,” he says, then he’s grabbing Seungcheol and kissing him on the lips. It was fast, already over before Sengcheol could even start to feel dizzy from being breathless. Before he could really feel the startling sensation of Chan’s mouth against his. Before he could understand, and then admire, Chan’s daring.), then finally, the real, big, sweeping kiss. The domesticity.
The last act is Seungcheol learning Chan's happiest moment.
Someone commented to ask what it was, I said it's there if you read closely the last part. Sorry, I wasn't being cheeky. But it really is there. In this story, they don't even say, I love you. The confession is in the title, in the magazine, in Chan talking about it and letting Seungcheol read it. It's not just Chan saying the Jung Woo-sung line in his own context now. It's just that, well... Chan's happiest moment had been meeting Seungcheol.
Favorite scenes
I noticed readers remarked a lot on the drive to the party at sunset scene in Chapter 3. Where we realize, as someone just looking from the outside, that Seungcheol is so far gone for Chan. But he doesn't yet. Our hero doesn't yet. This scene also earned me a really interesting comment that got me thinking. From lukitari: "I'm feeling so much wonder at how writing can work like this, the reader will see something so clearly and then later a character in the text will confirm it and it's this beautiful play between the writer, the story and the reader and I just kskskskskskslwlqjsja you know??"
Which, oh, right! How does that work? It's so infinitely fascinating to me too, how writing can do this, and I think can truly only happen when a reader interacts with the story just as thoughtfully as the writer had.
Personally, my favorite scene is the whole of Chapter 4. Haha, is that cheating? I worked hard on this one, and as always, it's wild to me how the elements just kind of, sometimes, when you're lucky, fall exactly into place. I did everything I wanted to do for this - include Nayeon (lol), write Chan into the dramas I liked (Law School, Taxi Driver), write Yeonjun in - actually, write so many new characters in, because I wanted the world to expand since Chan already has access to all these people and sets and opportunities. Write a lot of silly, sweet scenes. Though I also cut out a lot - in an earlier draft, I had a scene where Seungcheol went out to play basketball alone after meeting with Nayeon. Tiring himself out. And then later getting a call from Chan and then he feels centered again. Which, awwww jeez.
I ought to draw special attention to the part where they all watch Chan's episode in Taxi Driver, because the line, "The dream in which, to the world’s surprise, and even to our own, we turn out to be best," had been in my draft as early as Chapter 2. It makes me happy when that happens, when I manage to stick to a line or a scene I really wanted to be there from the start. And also because all the characters are gathered together here. Don't know if anyone notices this but I like writing tableaus. Like, all the characters framed in one scene. Like you could pause the scene and just marvel at their positions and emotions and implications... maybe that's why some have said the fic reads like a drama series. Because maybe that's what I was writing towards.
Music, references, other things
This has gotten so long now but a few last things. It was unusual for me to write a fic without a playlist, esp one of this length. But I stuck to kdrama/movie OSTs for this one, and just picked one song after every chapter. Kind of like a curtain song as the episode ends? Of course, I recommend clicking on the tracks and listening to them after reading. Just to sit with the song and the story for a bit, prolonging the ending.
As for the references, some scenes were inspired by the shows I watched - Seungcheol finding Chan at a restaurant was based on a minor character plot in Sh**ting Stars, the waffle detail though is leftover from the show Coffee Prince. Chan's filmography was based on actor Choi Hyun-wook, Mingyu's wife's character, was inspired by the character actress Seolhyun (hence her name in the fic) plays in the drama Summer Strike. The place where Mingyu has his engagement party was based on the venue Son Yejin and Hyunbin had for their wedding, haha. And the title was based on a poem by Lydia Davis.
Oh, one last thing. I almost changed this fic's title into ZERO TO HUNDRED, when I was unsure if I would be able to really deliver the romance and the happy in the happiest moment as the title. I even had a fic graphic prepared and everything:
But I was just unhappy with how his suit looked in the second pic though. It looks like it wasn't even ironed!
Anyway, in the end, the last three scenes arrived to me and I ended up calling back to the title. And I thought it was a sweet ending! A peek into Chan's feelings, finally.
Oh my god, this was super lengthy. I started this thinking, hmm, what even am I going to have to say about this. But like this is so long now and there's still so much I want to say. So, yup, tldr; I loved writing this fic a lot, and I think it's because I was sooo challenged by this whole idea and its format.
Will I write an ongoing chaptered fic again? Maybe not.
Will I continue to pine for actor Chan? Definitely. If and when they release the CK shoot we all must've collectively hallucinated for Chan, I'll write a cookie chapter for that I swear.
I think that's everything I want to say about this fic. Someone said this is now the longest chancheol fic on AO3. Which wasn't my goal but, woah, cool. Thank you to everyone who read along and commented and passed the fic around to their friends who also have been manifesting actor chan. And thank you for loving this Seungcheol, our hardworking, devoted, and loving Seungcheol.
Hehehe till the next one (Aug 8)!
HAPPIEST MOMENT ended up at 49,405 words. Four chapters, posted irregularly starting from February to June. I started this fic in October 2022 with this self-prompt for svtrarepair:
This round's theme was based around Specialized Videotape Technology - meaning any media Seventeen has released. My prompt was coming off an ep of Going Seventeen where they were, uh... making up ads? Playacting commercials? Trying to get sponsors? You know the one. The part that had Scoups going down on one knee in front of Dino with a fake ring like he's proposing to him.
The idea that I had back in October was simple. I only wanted to expand on that scene, what it meant for me: commitment, Scoups being down bad and being so good at it, and Dino being the center of it all; and I wanted to hone in on the universal carat (dinonara) dream - Dino's acting debut. So, all these, plus the shows I've seen (and didn't finish watching) about the Korean acting/idol industry (Sh**ting Stars, Imitation, Love to hate you) that really made me think Wait, I can write this one better.
Joining a fest
The last time I participated in a Seventeen ficfest (Eng) was... Oct 2021 for Eleventh Hour, a Chan-centric fest. I claimed my own prompt (lol) and wrote cat person, a Chan/Jeonghan fic. Since then, the only svt fests I signed up for was this Filipino ficfest I'm mod-ing (haha) and the svt bingo where I published two works.
So this was kind of a big deal for me. Joining this round.
This probably should be due for a separate post (alt title: youremynumberone rip and then redux), but ever since last year, I felt myself necessarily pulling back from the ficdom space - which is kinda funny, because that idea is obviously coming from a place of self-importance (as in, that there is a space being occupied by myself in the first place, hence its loss). But it's also like, whatever, girl. Now I'm really just, do what you fucking want or not.
So this fic and this fest, I'm thinking of it as my first reappearance (as poemnumbertwo) and like, just, newer and maybe a little bit better - at caring less about ficdom optics and being present. So it was just me. How exciting! Must've made me feel a little bit bolder. Because I wanted to try something I haven't done before...
Writing a chaptered fic
This spooked me a lot, because the concept of publishing a story that is unfinished, of which you only have a vague idea of how it's going to play out, and how long it's going to be, and how it's going to get to the end, is just incredibly nuts to me. Why do that? Who will be reading along with this when they don't even know if it's worth the ride? If it will ever even be finished? How will I manage how the chapters line up against each other in the long run? What if I want to change something I already published in the previous chapters and readers already read it? I can't do that. How can I do this without freaking myself out and also without selling myself short?
Turns out, it's quite doable. What a learning experience! Though I almost made this into five (I think briefly I even considered six) chapters, even thought about changing the title... I like to think I succeeded - in sticking to the prompt, in putting out congruent enough chapters in terms of progress and pacing, and in arriving at an ending that was satisfying.
Chapter break-down:
Chapter 1 - 8k - Feb 6
Chapter 2 - 12k - Feb 24
Chapter 3 - 12k - Apr 22
Chapter 4 - 18k - June 6
Looking at it now, that looks quite okay and fair, doesn't it! Haha I'm trying to be chill here, but I'm proud of that. I think the biggest challenge in writing a chaptered fic is really losing focus and steam, especially when you're getting feedback from readers in real time (as in while you're writing the next chapter), which can sway you... or just discourage you.
So how did it go about... I only started working on the next chapter's outline after finishing the previous one. Which probably wasn't the smartest idea, but I also really wanted to test my writing's integrity - as in whether I could commit to the details I thought were good and necessary writing the previous chapter. So it really was just a constant effort of extending and strengthening the extensions I was building so it rationally and emotionally leads into the next one.
I usually write based on the emotional mood of scenes, so this was what I was most conscious about and always building towards. It was also a very insightful exercise on trimming and writing neatly. I cut out a lot of scenes, scenes that were perhaps useful in terms of characterization or worldbuilding, but I thought I could do without if I could come up with a scene that brought out emotions that were already what those scenes stood for.
I'm grateful I had supportive readers who were patiently reading along as I posted. This helped a lot. And having a bunch of other stuff I wanted to work on at a particular time (i.e. scoupsday fic on August, so I knew I wanted to finish this at least by June) also drove me to work on this every time I could. And sprinting with friends! All the conversations and processing and the throwing of ideas together, ah how lucky to have had someone by my side as I wrote.
Characterization, especially: Seungcheol
As a couprang, it is my pride and joy to be told my Seungcheol voice is good. But I sat on this for a bit and came to the realization and conclusion that, I write him well not because I get him. I write Seungcheol's voice well whenever I do a Seungcheol character because I know his character in my story well. Which is different from knowing him. He is inscrutable, and I am just a fan.
But in this fic, I am his writer. So I do get him. I know him well! I know his character as an employee of OMEGA Entertainment, as a hardworking manager, as a devoted and loving friend, as a man newly being acquainted with the workings of his heart. I think it helps me personally when I approach a character like that - as in a character, and less like a real person I am an adoring fan of, if that makes sense? It's a good exercise at reflexivity and distance. As a fan, and as a writer.
Story arcs: stardom arc vs romance arc
Because in the summary I wrote when the first chapter was posted ended with: "Here is the making of a star, or also: the course of the heart in three acts." I needed to deliver on both aspects.
This must be the trickiest part writing this fic - balancing the progress of Chan's stardom with the progress of two people getting to know each other, trusting each other, and then working hard together to keep it going. The key here was the realization that both journeys are the same. For example, Chan's agreement to sign the contract is parallel with him opening up to Seungcheol about his life story, his desires and fears:
Lee Chan, once in real conversation, becomes an entirely new person. Someone who feels older, Seungcheol thinks, as he talks with unimpressed, subdued sort of pride. He tells Seungcheol about his grandma first. About how good she is as a parent, raising her children all on her own. As a cook, feeding everybody who would be willing to sit down and eat with her. As a grandmother, moving to Seoul with Chan because, did you know she happened to have been with him when he was first tapped to be a model?
This is it, an almost electric awareness fills Seungcheol.
I like this scene a lot. All of the details that compose this scene make up this sweet, intimate moment, a turning point where we see Chan finally opening up, after a harrowing day, after a series of constant effort from Seungcheol, and then give in and answer him yes - but because Seungcheol waits and doesn't prod or even take advantage of Chan's vulnerability, it doesn't feel like he's being pushed to say yes to Seungcheol; just that he's finally listened to the voice in his own head that's saying Seungcheol is a good person. He's finally honest.
And I guess that reveals a lot about me as a person, and how I think about love. I like to think this is how a good relationship starts: by being patient, and by being honest.
(Also really like how this scene is my rewrite of my prompt for the fic essentially: Seungcheol feels his mouth drop open ever so slowly. Sometimes, you want a thing more than you can admit you want the thing. Seungcheol is different. “Can you say that one more time?”
Chan rewards him with the laugh that Seungcheol only previously saw in videos. The closed eyes that crinkle beautifully. His head, tucked to the side of his shoulder. The real giggle he makes. Seungcheol wants to gush.
And then, the answer, again: “Okay. I do. Happy?”)
And so it begins. That this happens in the second chapter complicated my idea of keeping this to three chapters (when the first chapter was posted by the fest account, the fic on my page said 1/3), because I was thinking it will follow three acts. This was out the window when I realized their arc only started in the chapter two fully. And just threw out the window the rigid idea of one chapter, one act. I reasoned, I don't think love progresses that clearly anyway, haha.
The first three chapters were heavy on the laborious journey of signing a reluctant and untapped star, but the last chapter, I think, despite the number and weight of the scenes of getting Chan out there in the field, is intentionally heavy on revealing a lot of their progress of getting closer. And is also a bit faster in pacing, because I like to think, even in the previous two chapters, they were already there anyway. It all just needed to unfold this time: the teasing, the realization that Seungcheol will do anything and everything for Chan, the first stab of jealousy (won't let someone else get Chan's number, what a lewser), the first hug, the first night together... the second... the first almost-not-really kiss (He tucks Chan closer. Chan opens his eyes briefly, looking up at Seungcheol. His lips land warm and soft against the edge of Seungcheol’s jaw.), the first kiss (“Not like that, idiot,” he says, then he’s grabbing Seungcheol and kissing him on the lips. It was fast, already over before Sengcheol could even start to feel dizzy from being breathless. Before he could really feel the startling sensation of Chan’s mouth against his. Before he could understand, and then admire, Chan’s daring.), then finally, the real, big, sweeping kiss. The domesticity.
The last act is Seungcheol learning Chan's happiest moment.
Someone commented to ask what it was, I said it's there if you read closely the last part. Sorry, I wasn't being cheeky. But it really is there. In this story, they don't even say, I love you. The confession is in the title, in the magazine, in Chan talking about it and letting Seungcheol read it. It's not just Chan saying the Jung Woo-sung line in his own context now. It's just that, well... Chan's happiest moment had been meeting Seungcheol.
Favorite scenes
I noticed readers remarked a lot on the drive to the party at sunset scene in Chapter 3. Where we realize, as someone just looking from the outside, that Seungcheol is so far gone for Chan. But he doesn't yet. Our hero doesn't yet. This scene also earned me a really interesting comment that got me thinking. From lukitari: "I'm feeling so much wonder at how writing can work like this, the reader will see something so clearly and then later a character in the text will confirm it and it's this beautiful play between the writer, the story and the reader and I just kskskskskskslwlqjsja you know??"
Which, oh, right! How does that work? It's so infinitely fascinating to me too, how writing can do this, and I think can truly only happen when a reader interacts with the story just as thoughtfully as the writer had.
Personally, my favorite scene is the whole of Chapter 4. Haha, is that cheating? I worked hard on this one, and as always, it's wild to me how the elements just kind of, sometimes, when you're lucky, fall exactly into place. I did everything I wanted to do for this - include Nayeon (lol), write Chan into the dramas I liked (Law School, Taxi Driver), write Yeonjun in - actually, write so many new characters in, because I wanted the world to expand since Chan already has access to all these people and sets and opportunities. Write a lot of silly, sweet scenes. Though I also cut out a lot - in an earlier draft, I had a scene where Seungcheol went out to play basketball alone after meeting with Nayeon. Tiring himself out. And then later getting a call from Chan and then he feels centered again. Which, awwww jeez.
I ought to draw special attention to the part where they all watch Chan's episode in Taxi Driver, because the line, "The dream in which, to the world’s surprise, and even to our own, we turn out to be best," had been in my draft as early as Chapter 2. It makes me happy when that happens, when I manage to stick to a line or a scene I really wanted to be there from the start. And also because all the characters are gathered together here. Don't know if anyone notices this but I like writing tableaus. Like, all the characters framed in one scene. Like you could pause the scene and just marvel at their positions and emotions and implications... maybe that's why some have said the fic reads like a drama series. Because maybe that's what I was writing towards.
Music, references, other things
This has gotten so long now but a few last things. It was unusual for me to write a fic without a playlist, esp one of this length. But I stuck to kdrama/movie OSTs for this one, and just picked one song after every chapter. Kind of like a curtain song as the episode ends? Of course, I recommend clicking on the tracks and listening to them after reading. Just to sit with the song and the story for a bit, prolonging the ending.
As for the references, some scenes were inspired by the shows I watched - Seungcheol finding Chan at a restaurant was based on a minor character plot in Sh**ting Stars, the waffle detail though is leftover from the show Coffee Prince. Chan's filmography was based on actor Choi Hyun-wook, Mingyu's wife's character, was inspired by the character actress Seolhyun (hence her name in the fic) plays in the drama Summer Strike. The place where Mingyu has his engagement party was based on the venue Son Yejin and Hyunbin had for their wedding, haha. And the title was based on a poem by Lydia Davis.
Oh, one last thing. I almost changed this fic's title into ZERO TO HUNDRED, when I was unsure if I would be able to really deliver the romance and the happy in the happiest moment as the title. I even had a fic graphic prepared and everything:
But I was just unhappy with how his suit looked in the second pic though. It looks like it wasn't even ironed!
Anyway, in the end, the last three scenes arrived to me and I ended up calling back to the title. And I thought it was a sweet ending! A peek into Chan's feelings, finally.
Oh my god, this was super lengthy. I started this thinking, hmm, what even am I going to have to say about this. But like this is so long now and there's still so much I want to say. So, yup, tldr; I loved writing this fic a lot, and I think it's because I was sooo challenged by this whole idea and its format.
Will I write an ongoing chaptered fic again? Maybe not.
Will I continue to pine for actor Chan? Definitely. If and when they release the CK shoot we all must've collectively hallucinated for Chan, I'll write a cookie chapter for that I swear.
I think that's everything I want to say about this fic. Someone said this is now the longest chancheol fic on AO3. Which wasn't my goal but, woah, cool. Thank you to everyone who read along and commented and passed the fic around to their friends who also have been manifesting actor chan. And thank you for loving this Seungcheol, our hardworking, devoted, and loving Seungcheol.
Hehehe till the next one (Aug 8)!
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